Self-care in all areas... Mind, Health & Wealth
Shannon Johnston is owner of Living for Style - she's a personal stylist and shopper who helps busy moms “rediscover themselves”. As mum to 3 boys, she is no stranger to needing some quiet time. Shannon recently took me on a personal shopping trip – more about that later, but the whole experience made me think about the importance of self-care in our busy lives as working moms. Shannon says “Self-care to me, means looking after myself. By looking after myself I am a better mum, better at my job, a better wife and friend.”
Catching up with a good friend over coffee on the weekend, we were talking about what self-care really means to us and how important it is. How, as women and moms who always put other’s first, we need some time out for ourselves. To put our own needs first. We had a coffee, in a busy shopping centre, while our kids ran wild outside. That was our 30 minutes of self-care for the day – taking time out with a close friend to vent, or celebrate, or just talk.
You see, I’ve realised that self-care comes in many forms and means different things to each of us – it even varies in your life. When my daughter, Zoe was born 8 and a half years ago, self-care meant my husband watching her, while I go to the petrol station. Alone. I put petrol in and bought an ice-cream, then sat in a quiet car eating it. Alone. You see where I’m going with this…my self-care was quiet time away from the baby. After the birth of Ava, almost two years ago, my bucket is now filled by spending time with my closest friends. I still love alone time, but my energy levels don’t recharge by being alone anymore. I need to interact with people to recharge.
Trying to fit in everything, even time for ourselves, can be hard. Kate McGill, owner and founder of Firefly Nutrition and Health Coaching (previously Wonder Woman Method), is dedicated to “help women who struggle with their body image & weight, look and feel amazing and discover their inner wonder woman”. With self-care at its heart, her business is all about ensuring women feel empowered by their own bodies. I love her approach, because her method isn't about getting your body "bikini ready", but about healthy bodies, which should be celebrated as "amazing vessels". Asked how she practices self-care and unwinds, she says that time with her friends is her way of letting off steam. "There is nothing like a good belly-laugh and a glass of wine with your girlfriends, to let your hair down". She added that, "Time away from kids or family without the usual mommy-guilt that comes with it, is hard. Especially if you're a new mom or have a demanding job or (like me) also studying. But it's so crucial to our overall health".
Shannon added that when it comes to guilt-free self-care, it's important to ask for help when you need it, or accept it when it's offered. We need to realise we can't (and we shouldn't) do it all alone.
Back to my personal shopping trip…sounds lavish, no? The thing is, I’m too busy to shop for myself. I needed some essential items in my wardrobe and spending hours on a weekend in a busy shopping centre, and even then, not finding what I needed, just doesn’t sound fun. I’ve also spent many hours in a badly lit changing room feeling sorry for myself when the sizing is off, or the reflection skewed. I gave Shannon a budget and a list of things I needed, she knew my clothing & shoe size & my style preference and away we went – 2 hours later, within budget, I walked away with everything I needed plus a few extra things. But more – I had a renewed sense of confidence. She helped me with what styles or colours to avoid and what looks great on me. I tried on things I might not usually go for and was pleasantly surprised.
But self-care should be more than looking after our body and mind. We should not neglect our wealth.
In my role as financial adviser I help busy families set financial goals and put a plan in place to reach them. What I have seen, time and again, is that women are quite often the project leaders – the one driving it. Decisions might be made jointly, but it’s quite often the female partner organising a meeting with me in the first place, however, when I talk to her about her own financial plan – that is, her own superannuation or insurance portfolio, quite often she’s unsure what she has. I’ve seen this repeated many times over – the family’s welfare is put above her own.
Due to marriage breakdown, death of a spouse or domestic violence, women over the age of 55 is the fastest growing group of homeless Australians.
We cannot afford to neglect our own financial resilience and self-care. Unless we, as women, realise that and take the time to learn how to give our own financial planning the self-care it requires, can we truly achieve equal footing or get ahead?